Got... Thought? excerpt

                                              

"There existed mysteries and things of wonder that simply awaited discovery, yet as long as I wasn’t aware they simply did not exist. These hints I kept noticing. 

All these hints came to a point where they deserted the realm of Subtlety and shook me good one night. A couple years into this introspective voyage that I was on, one night, no more no less ordinary than the rest, I found myself in bed, reading thru my workbook, when Strange started happening.  

 Then, as I put the book down and closed my eyes it got even stranger, this fresh mystery so oddly arrived on the premises of my mind. 

I felt a short intense shiver enveloping my body in totality, so short that I thought it to be in my dream. I say dream, but I wasn’t yet asleep. 

With my eyes closed I was well aware of everything around me. I could hear the tiny hiss that Grace produced in her sleep, I could hear the dogs barking in the neighborhood, yet I was present, in my Mind somewhere, a hazy place at first, which I could not comprehend.

“Am I dreaming?” I asked myself in thought, at the same time reaching my hand from underneath the covers and feeling Grace’s back. I didn’t want to open my eyes of out of fear of loosing that mystery state.

“You are not yet dreaming, not yet awake!” my thought came back. Odd! I was thinking of myself as you,as in  "You are not dreaming". 

I was slightly frightened, but mostly curious. I never in my whole life met a more curious person than I. 

As I laid on the bed, eyes closed, taken over by a strange tension, almost vibrating in a way that brought forward a multitude of emotions, happening almost instantaneously, yet in different formulas every time. At the same moment I felt an undeniable presence, somewhere in the room. My fears stopped as if turned off. I was burning with curiosity and anticipation.

“I can feel it, it’s near, still I cannot see it” I thought.

“But I can see you!” I recognized a thought slightly strange to me, still very familiar. I strained my mental attention trying hard to penetrate the haze.

“There’s more than one way to see” my thoughts came straight at me, but this time from the haze. Imagine this, my thoughts coming from what I perceived as the outside of me.

“Is anyone there?” I asked in thought.

“Not just anyone!” the answer came.

“How come I cannot see you then?”

“You’re trying too hard. Do not insist if the method does not work. Instead of trying hard to see me, how about you try differently.” It replied, while I had no idea how else to try.

“Different thoughts will show you different pictures” the hint came as I was just about to ask for it. 

A rapid succession of undefined pictures paraded thru my Mind and then clearly one settled in. An old man with white hair, dressed in some kind of  undefined, airy type vestment.

“There once was a smiley old man that wasn’t even a Ghost, He simply was” I felt a story starting to unfold. I loved stories and He knew that. (I’ll say “He” out of lack of a better word). I just knew He knew! He then continued.

“He stood quietly by my bed and with a hand that was no more than a soothing breeze, he touched my burning forehead.” At that very time I felt the old man’s touch. It was the same cold touch that happened before.

“I know you! You’ve visited before” I said feeling more and more comfortable, since it connected me to old moments of mystery.

“You know of me, but cannot yet know me!” thoughts replied.

“With his touch I started sinking in, passed the ungodly reflections of the cracked mirror that my mind became, to where time and space creased the surface of the bottomless lake” He kept the story going and as the thoughts rolled in, so did I feel, as if I became part of his story. 

The old man sat at the foot of my bed, wordless, not even looking at me. I felt my wish was granted. I knew Him. He was the much sought after Teacher that would open up mysteries for me, mysteries that I began to discover and write down in my workbooks.

“Might you be the Teacher I’ve been searching for?” I asked, pretty sure that was the case. The old man then looked up at me and I felt immersed in his gaze, as if he was surrounding me, taking me under his wing.

“Might be!” I felt His answer.

“You can now go to sleep.” And that’s all I can remember of that night. That was the night another strange thing happened. Up until that night I used to dream a lot in my sleep. I’d wake up in the morning and at times remember as many as four or five different dreams. I kept a dream journal, thinking there was something to learn from all these dreams. A few months later I gave it up, since they didn’t seem to have any kind of connection to anything, or make any kind of sense. 

Starting that night, my dreams stopped. Nowadays, rarely do I get to wake up remembering bits of a dream.

    I spent the next day in a semi-trance, previous night’s events still alive in my mind. I could feel something extraordinary approaching and that gave me a great deal of joy. 

I felt I was nearly on my way to become what I was to become. I felt fulfillment getting nearer. I was happy in a way that words cannot describe. 

I thought about sharing this experience with Alena, but a resounding not proper sense filled my mind. So I kept it secret from anyone for a long while. My life started taking a new direction, gradually.

     A couple nights later, as I laid on the couch, watching TV, another visit. It was late, I had worked hard all day clearing up the land for the second house I was going to start building. I closed my eyes, just to give‘em a bit of rest and soon the same feeling of strange tension enveloped me again. 

I recognized it immediately, while a subdued feeling of joy came ridding on its tails. 

I was in expectancy, quiet, senses sharpened, I could hear the news being presented on the TV, an ambulance with sirens on driving down the street, Diamonique, my largest and mushiest cat purring next to me, while my mind was searching for the Presence.

 It was there, I could feel it. At that time, on the couch with my eyes closed, I felt I could simply shift my focus from the living room to the bedroom downstairs and I’d be able to “feel” inside the bedroom. As if I sent a “thought of inquiry” to inspect, while the rest of me rested upstairs. I kept probing for the Presence and not a minute later the old man showed up.

“I sensed you were looking for me” His thoughts revealed.

“I felt you nearby. I knew you were here” I said.

“And how come we can converse in this manner?” I added.

“It’s called Sense conveyance by Thought, the most direct and efficient way for us to converse. No need for words, gestures... to be continued